Daily Lessons

I have a “Strong Personality”

For the longest time when people would describe me as a “strong personality”. I would get so angry. Why is being independent and strong as a woman so damn offensive. If a man is powerful and demanding he’s seen as a boss! Was I the victim of sexist profiling?

The answer is no. I simply needed to learn how to be myself without being so abrassive. I’ve learned to accept myself as a tell it like it is type of person. I tell people all the time, “This is who I am, you either love me or hate me”. And it’s true. Could I have been any more hypocritical? Here I was angry that other’s couldn’t accept me for who I was, angry at them for not changing to accept my “strong personality”. Yet I was not taking their own personalities into account.

If you know you have an “Strong personality” that can come off offensive, and you are unapologetic about it, then you can’t take it personally when people actually get offended.

~ my very good friend~

Not many people are capable of being straight with me. Usually because they know my response will be brutal and without empathy. I’m not this way because I’m angry or I hate people, I just don’t see the purpose in lying through kindness. But I DO want to be kind to others. So how on earth is one to balance such a chaotic interaction with others?

For one, I stopped taking people’s reactions to heart. Yes, women are often threatened by me. They don’t have to be, but it’s usually because I say and do the things they are afraid to. In their minds that makes me scary. Other’s see me as a challenge and the pissing contest begins. And then, their are those beautiful neutral people who can laugh at my sarcasm, take my brass comments, and still see the good in my heart.

Image result for don't take it personally quotesBut those people are rare. And if I want to be able to help people, then I have to learn how to be confident in my strength, yet compassionate to others. Compassion is something I’m not good at. Knowing that, I try to look at everyone as if they were me. How many times have I been angered by someone’s inability to speak up? I had to learn that not everyone had the ability to say what’s on their mind. Non confrontational people find our stressful and often describe conflict as anxiety

It’s never easy looking in the mirror and saying “you were wrong” especially if you areImage result for facing your flaws strong willed! However, being wrong doesn’t make you weak somehow, it makes you human. It means you are ready to grow as a person! It means it’s time to eat a little crow amd learn to change. There was a time when I thought EVERYTHING was I fight. (Some people think I still do)  But that’s only because they don’t know me personally. That often gets me past my moments of irritation with others inability to take the raw truth that I put out there. 

If you know me, you know I’ll tell it straight, but not without love. I’m not a negative person, I just live in reality…. MY reality. Some people get stressed out at tje thought of hurting someone’s feelings, so thet lie with kind intentions. That’s THEIR reality.

To sum all this up, let me say this NEVER think there’s something wrong with you because you are straight forward. Equally, there’s nothing wrong with people who are reserved and quiet. In order to be accepted for who you are, you have to accept others for who they are. That doesn’t mean we have to change, it just means we need to learn how to dial it down for some. 

A “strong personality” can never dial it down to 0 lol. We’re just not built that way. But we can take from a 10 to a five for the “calmer” personalities. Even our five can be to much for some. That’s when we evolve and accept that of “they do not know me personally, I shouldn’t take it personally”. In the event that doesn’t work all I ask is that you breath and gather your thoughts before you react. 

A few helpful philosophies: 

  1. Somethings are just better left unsaid
  2. Let it roll of like water on a duck
  3. The tongue is a double edged sword, it can cut both ways
  4. Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out
  5. It’s better to bite your tongue than it is to eat your words.

I have by no means mastered my “strong personality”, but I have certainly learned how to better control it. I’m a non-perfect never ending progress. And I will die that way. But I will never stop trying to be a better me! 

Namaste friends

Melissa

 

5-18-17

It’s not about what I’m worth to myself… it’s about what I’m worth to you.

Before you read to much into the title, let me start by saying this is about business. In my personal experience I have found that EVERY employee wants to feel valued. Every human wants to feel special. It’s natural and shouldn’t be frowned upon… Yet, if you seek out to much approval, you’re considered an attention seeker.

People don’t want you to outshine them, and most strong business people don’t want you too know more than them. They equally want to feel needed. So if you already know what you’re doing then they have no reason to keep you entertained. Now they must find someone else to make them feel needed again.

But if you focus one hundred percent of your time on yourself and making the company money, you are always needed and always liked. So this is my lesson I’ve learned today. 

“Business is not about knowing your own worth… it’s about how much money you can make the company. Your value lies in your prosperity for the company. Your self worth only matters if its geared towards msking that business money”

Wrap your head around that, and you will soar!

Good luck in your future ventures friends, 

Melissa 

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