Yesterday for the first time in a very long time… I wondered if tomorrow really would be new. I questioned whether I had the strength to do it again.
Like many of us in this computerized age I got on Google and started researching inner strength. This scripture came up… over and over I just kept hearing “do not grow weary!”
I’m not big on sharing my religious beliefs. All anyone needs to understand is that I strongly believe in God. Even in this digital world He finds a way to speak to me.
God made me tough as nails, He made me passionately caring and loving, He made me intelligent and logical, He gave me great experience and incredible power over the attacts of the enemy. God has made me a strong unconditionally loving woman.
But all these things can confuse people. They confuse my strength as a threat, and my compassion as a weakness. My speak out attitude has been beaten down and my tears of passion and love have been confused as mood swings.
I have become weary and God knew it! For those who think there is no room for God in this computerized world of instant gratification… that’s wrong.
I felt broken down and even allowed others to make me feel weakened and less than. Then God reminded me to just trust Him!! Do not run when pushed away, do not fear what I can not control, do not give into the weakness that brings on the feeling of weariness.
And there was no better word for how I was feeling than weary. Weary that I might not be able to make it through tomorrow. Weary that I might be ignored and dismissed over and over. Weary that my strength my passion maybe too much for ANYONE to understand. Much less the people whom I needed to understand the most.
My motto in life has ALWAYS been that no matter what happens today, tomorrow is always new. For the first time ever I felt no hope for tomorrow being any different from today or yesterday. But it is! God is still my strength and as long as I continue to walk forward he will not let me fail.
Remaining positive and gracious, I believe God has great love and success for my future. I just have to let go and TRULY believe without question.
To top it off I heard a qoute last night before I lied down. “I believe worry only makes us suffer twice.” I have also been guilty of allowing worry to infect my mind like a vicious virus. God is my antibiotic, and I have decided to fight back!
God is with us even when we fail him, even when we don’t believe in him or doubt him. God is true to us, we are the ones who doubt ourselves so much we begin to wonder how he could still believe in us. But he does! And that by itself gives me hope for today.
PRAY WITH ME
I pray that God washes away all self doubt, self loathing, and debilitating insecurities for anyone reading this!
We are all strong and capable. God made us this way! No one on this earth is without reason. In my moments of greatest doubt, I pray God can bring me back to this moment. To remind me that he made me for this world! I am here with reason! I am the amazing woman he created me to be!
Thank you Lord!
To my readers,
May his love and grace comfort you daily!!